I am puke
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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