Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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