What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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