it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
