very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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