I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
