i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
