I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
