One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
When are your genitals available?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
