After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
