he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
