Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
