singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
