it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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