just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
