Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
don't judge my taste in strippers
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
