Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
