i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
