Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
