So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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