you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Semen is not good for contacts.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
