well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
