K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Boobs are out for the taking
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
