So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
