Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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