If i come over, it means nothing
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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