My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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