i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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