We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
