you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
