Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
