We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
