one might say we're banned from that church
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
