I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
