Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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