I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
