I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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