So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
