But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
