if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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