Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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