Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
