After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
