I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
