someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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