areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
