hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
is wine microwaveable?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
