dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
