If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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