haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
