I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Pappa wants mamma naked
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
