I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
