Plan B is the new Plan A
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
